Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Coincidence

This is kind of a sentimental entry, so bear with me, folks. :) My friend JoAnna reminded me to write this when she friended me on facebook.

Since moving back home, I’ve had the great fortune to meet up with some of my old friends in high school. It’s happened by chance—I ran into Kelly at the grocery—or it’s happened incidentally at a party or get-together (Fun Fact: Thomas and Ryan host the best 4th of Julys). In either case, I have been pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to pick up conversations where they left off. These kids, some of them married and some of them professionals, are clearly grown up, but our histories remain.

When I was in high school, I was a new kid, and I had a hard time making close friends: I saw these kids who had known each other since they were in kindergarten, and here I was a new girl from New York. I had an awful lot of acquaintances, but very, very few good friends. Looking back, I think it was more my fault than anything: I was shyer in high school than I am now, and I was afraid to infringe on these friendships.

When I went to college, that shyness was gone, and I met an amazing group of friends who have stuck with me through some really tough times despite us only knowing one another for three or four years. I guess it was easier to become close to them because we were on the same ground, thrust into this new place with new people and experiences. It was easy to make friends because everyone was looking for them. We were all a little homesick and all a little lonely, and college is the perfect place to reach out and meet people.

And now, I think, I’m in that position again. My former high school friends and I are post graduates. We’ve been separated by distance and time—in some cases, I haven’t seen these kids in four years. But even though our experiences are so different, we’re now in that place where we’re not quite adults (after all, a huge group of us live in our parents’ basements), but we’re definitely “grown up.” It’s a really nice place to be, I think, because we can reminisce on what Kyle did in the lunchroom in eleventh grade, but we can also talk about how scary it is to be a grown up, how hard it is to find a job or an apartment, and how weird it is to be finished with school.

I am so happy to have found these friends, and so grateful that we can reconnect. Being grown-up is lonely and scary sometimes, and having friends along for the ride makes it so much more fun. So, I’d like to thank my friends, old and new.

Have you reconnected with any old friends since graduating or moving? I’d love to hear your stories.

7 comments: to “ Coincidence

  • JoAnna
    7:44 PM  

    :hugs: i feel like ive completely lost touch with 99% of my friends from HS(mainly bc i chasing a toddler ALL DAY LONG) but i dont have any problem picking back up where we left off:) in fact i only talk to my 2 best friends lke once a month or less often. cant wait to see you some time and talk about "old times" lolo

  • Jillian
    7:44 PM  

    Since I've been home I've kinda started seeing my High School boyfriend again. It's strange because Nick and I broke up when I was a freshmen in College due to long distance and miscommunications we experienced trying to remain close over the phone...and now that I'm back home in Long Island it's as if I never left. I'm right back where I started... an old boyfriend, in my old bed room, arguing with mom, talking to Meghane Kane and Tatyanne again. It's kinda great but at the same time I feel like I'm traveling backwards. I've experienced so much since High School that I feel like I'm cheating myself out of opportunities by staying at home. Arn't I smarter and better than that? Nice post. Reminds me of:

    Make new friends
    but keep the old
    some are silver
    but the others Gold. <3

  • Holly Grande
    7:45 PM  

    I don't know, I don't see myself as being back where I started. We're all in different places, so I don't think we're using our old friendships as a crutch. I am living with my parents, but it's definitely not a long-term solution, and my focus has been on my work more than anything, but seeing old friends even in just a passing-by is...neat.

  • JoAnna
    7:45 PM  

    I dont think its so much using old friendships as a crutch as it is having roots, kwim? My life is drastically different from HS and i would never want to relive those years lol. But i do love to spend time with people who knew me "back then". Most of the people i hang out with now are people i have met in the last 2-3 years and its just not the same.Maybe bc i dont have any real memories with them....

  • Lauren
    10:42 AM  

    Holly - I'm glad to see when I lurk around on your profile that you are doing well. I hope we run into each some place random down the road (as we have a tendency to do anyway) and we can exchange funny stories about what happened to us since 'THEN.' Keep working hard and having fun.

  • Paula
    12:42 PM  

    Thanks to social networking sites like Bebo and Facebook I've reconnected over the net with tons of people from high school but have yet to meet up with any of them. The weirdest one was one of my best friends from school who I basically haven't spoken to in ten years; we'd drifted apart but I always thought it was her fault. When we got in contact again, I realised she had always wondered what I was up to in the time we were apart. I think it's a bit late for us to be proper friends again, but we're still in contact now all the same, which is good, as I've lost the bitterness I once had.

  • Keely
    1:37 PM  

    Since I moved home after graduating from college I've actually become closer to some of the people I was friends/acquaintances with in high school than I was with them when we were in high school. It's weird how things work out like that, I barely speak to my two high school best friends, but have become inseperable from other people I knew back then.

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